How I wish feelings could be removed as easy as deleting text messages. I cannot withstand this amount of heartache anymore, I'm dying inside.
I get jealous easily because I'm fucking afraid of losing you ! Get scolded in return. Wtf man. Waiting for freaking 3 hours to wait for you to finish your drama and Skype session with friends just to talk to you. Okay. After all im just an option, maybe not even one.
3 hours past, get scolded. She goes to bed. Cool. I'm such a dumb ass. Was sleepy but I don't wanna sleep and now ? I can't fucking sleep and that's why I'm here. Spitting out every single pain here. Again, you're killing me with suspension.
Friends going to Taiwan tomorrow. Reason I rejected their invitation is because I thought I'm going to spend my time here with you ! But what the fuck. You're not even here...... So disappointed with myself.
Recently many problems and I can't seem to find any solution. Don't know who to tell. Reason? Because no one seems to give a fuck. Life is just like Facebook, when youre having problem , people will either give you simple comments or just "like" your freaking problems because they are busy updating their own ones ! Learning how to keep everything to myself. I'm literally sick of this world. Not getting what I want , yet getting a lot which I don't want to have, For now, at least. For example, cash. Daddy you bank in so much money for me for what ? You expect me to spend 30k a month ? Lol. First time feeling so rich. -.-
And yes, I decided to quit partying. Time to get serious. Work hard for my dreams. #HereWeGo.
Thursday 19 July 2012
Thursday 12 July 2012
Stormy heart
为什么要这样犯贱爱上一个完全把你当外人的人？明知道不可能在一起还苦苦等待到头来受伤的也是自己。看来我们以前关系比较好是因为我在你眼里是个朋友。现在，我只能说你把我看成别的人了。立场不同了。以前无话不说，现在连谁先开口都是个问题。尊严有那么重要吗？had been given a heartbreak 14 months ago and I'm repeating this mistake again and again. Told myself I shouldn't fall in love but I still did. 爱上一个人就等于给她伤害你的机会。所以，...........
Friday 6 July 2012
Worry
Worrying is dumb. It's like holding an umbrella waiting for it to rain.
Why am I afraid of losing you when you're not even mine ? You said you'll take care of yourself. What I see was you can't walk straight , talk properly , headache and all. A happy party night was just ruined like that. I was just sitting alone at the couch worrying of all kinds of nonsense. That night I drank a lot. Realized a lot of things. The more you care of someone, the sadder you feel. But what to do, only if you cared about my feeling as much as I cared about yours. I know myself well. I can't be even friends with people I once loved. Too much of worrying will never be solved. Only solution is to talk to the person, but....... maybe without me as a friend you'll still live happily. So, forget about it. Let time do the work.
Why am I afraid of losing you when you're not even mine ? You said you'll take care of yourself. What I see was you can't walk straight , talk properly , headache and all. A happy party night was just ruined like that. I was just sitting alone at the couch worrying of all kinds of nonsense. That night I drank a lot. Realized a lot of things. The more you care of someone, the sadder you feel. But what to do, only if you cared about my feeling as much as I cared about yours. I know myself well. I can't be even friends with people I once loved. Too much of worrying will never be solved. Only solution is to talk to the person, but....... maybe without me as a friend you'll still live happily. So, forget about it. Let time do the work.
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