How I wish feelings could be removed as easy as deleting text messages. I cannot withstand this amount of heartache anymore, I'm dying inside.
I get jealous easily because I'm fucking afraid of losing you ! Get scolded in return. Wtf man. Waiting for freaking 3 hours to wait for you to finish your drama and Skype session with friends just to talk to you. Okay. After all im just an option, maybe not even one.
3 hours past, get scolded. She goes to bed. Cool. I'm such a dumb ass. Was sleepy but I don't wanna sleep and now ? I can't fucking sleep and that's why I'm here. Spitting out every single pain here. Again, you're killing me with suspension.
Friends going to Taiwan tomorrow. Reason I rejected their invitation is because I thought I'm going to spend my time here with you ! But what the fuck. You're not even here...... So disappointed with myself.
Recently many problems and I can't seem to find any solution. Don't know who to tell. Reason? Because no one seems to give a fuck. Life is just like Facebook, when youre having problem , people will either give you simple comments or just "like" your freaking problems because they are busy updating their own ones ! Learning how to keep everything to myself. I'm literally sick of this world. Not getting what I want , yet getting a lot which I don't want to have, For now, at least. For example, cash. Daddy you bank in so much money for me for what ? You expect me to spend 30k a month ? Lol. First time feeling so rich. -.-
And yes, I decided to quit partying. Time to get serious. Work hard for my dreams. #HereWeGo.
Thursday 19 July 2012
Thursday 12 July 2012
Stormy heart
为什么要这样犯贱爱上一个完全把你当外人的人？明知道不可能在一起还苦苦等待到头来受伤的也是自己。看来我们以前关系比较好是因为我在你眼里是个朋友。现在，我只能说你把我看成别的人了。立场不同了。以前无话不说，现在连谁先开口都是个问题。尊严有那么重要吗？had been given a heartbreak 14 months ago and I'm repeating this mistake again and again. Told myself I shouldn't fall in love but I still did. 爱上一个人就等于给她伤害你的机会。所以，...........
Friday 6 July 2012
Worry
Worrying is dumb. It's like holding an umbrella waiting for it to rain.
Why am I afraid of losing you when you're not even mine ? You said you'll take care of yourself. What I see was you can't walk straight , talk properly , headache and all. A happy party night was just ruined like that. I was just sitting alone at the couch worrying of all kinds of nonsense. That night I drank a lot. Realized a lot of things. The more you care of someone, the sadder you feel. But what to do, only if you cared about my feeling as much as I cared about yours. I know myself well. I can't be even friends with people I once loved. Too much of worrying will never be solved. Only solution is to talk to the person, but....... maybe without me as a friend you'll still live happily. So, forget about it. Let time do the work.
Why am I afraid of losing you when you're not even mine ? You said you'll take care of yourself. What I see was you can't walk straight , talk properly , headache and all. A happy party night was just ruined like that. I was just sitting alone at the couch worrying of all kinds of nonsense. That night I drank a lot. Realized a lot of things. The more you care of someone, the sadder you feel. But what to do, only if you cared about my feeling as much as I cared about yours. I know myself well. I can't be even friends with people I once loved. Too much of worrying will never be solved. Only solution is to talk to the person, but....... maybe without me as a friend you'll still live happily. So, forget about it. Let time do the work.
Sunday 15 April 2012
:(
I'm really very disappointed already. Really very tired. I don't know when Is real when Is not. Disappointed to the max.
You're the only one I trust the most. But it happened again and again. Stop saying sorry if you're gonna let it happen always. It hurts more.
How I wish you're just a normal friend to me. So that I won't care so much. Not gonna care not gonna ask anymore. It's just a chance for you to hurt me again, although I know you don't intend to do that.
It's so hard for me right now. I shouldn't fall so deep. I love you.
You're the only one I trust the most. But it happened again and again. Stop saying sorry if you're gonna let it happen always. It hurts more.
How I wish you're just a normal friend to me. So that I won't care so much. Not gonna care not gonna ask anymore. It's just a chance for you to hurt me again, although I know you don't intend to do that.
It's so hard for me right now. I shouldn't fall so deep. I love you.
Thursday 12 April 2012
Another day.
A normal study day. Getting harder and harder. Trying hard to cope. Hopefully still can do it.
I will only be nice to those that appreciate me. If not, No. I don't please anyone. Don't say sorry if you're gonna do it again and again
As Days past, there are more and more reasons for me to stop caring about u anymore. I came to a point that I feel like giving up. But, I won't. I don't wanna regret. As I said, love will clear all the obstacles.
Felt that I'm more capable to control my feelings now. Does it mean that I've grown up or ? I don't feel that jealous compared to last time anymore. Always think from others perspective is the thing that I'm improving now. It's not easy until you try. True story.
Ciao
I will only be nice to those that appreciate me. If not, No. I don't please anyone. Don't say sorry if you're gonna do it again and again
As Days past, there are more and more reasons for me to stop caring about u anymore. I came to a point that I feel like giving up. But, I won't. I don't wanna regret. As I said, love will clear all the obstacles.
Felt that I'm more capable to control my feelings now. Does it mean that I've grown up or ? I don't feel that jealous compared to last time anymore. Always think from others perspective is the thing that I'm improving now. It's not easy until you try. True story.
Ciao
Saturday 7 April 2012
Saturday 😄
A day with nice weather. Came back from cousin's house early in the morning.
Intended to study but ended up sleeping. Nice weather + body feeling sick. Slept the whole afternoon :(
Went for movie with the one I love the most at night. It was okay. Miss her so much.
Late night party time with friends. I was just thinking of her the whole time. Sorry I think i fell for you too deeply. Sometimes I rather choose just to be friends because I'm afraid of losing you. I couldn't imagine what life would be without your existence. :(
Don't wanna think about it anymore. Time to sleep. Wake up and fight for tomorrow!
ciao. 4.25am 8 April.
Intended to study but ended up sleeping. Nice weather + body feeling sick. Slept the whole afternoon :(
Went for movie with the one I love the most at night. It was okay. Miss her so much.
Late night party time with friends. I was just thinking of her the whole time. Sorry I think i fell for you too deeply. Sometimes I rather choose just to be friends because I'm afraid of losing you. I couldn't imagine what life would be without your existence. :(
Don't wanna think about it anymore. Time to sleep. Wake up and fight for tomorrow!
ciao. 4.25am 8 April.
Tuesday 3 April 2012
3/4/2012
Parents coming to kl tomorrow. Sister graduated from medic at UM. Gratz. Proud of her. Officially a doctor. Wootss.
Recently more and more stress. 43 days more to exam. I'm actually quite confident although I haven't finish studying. Don't know why lol.
Quote of the day : When there's a will, there's a way. :)
As usual, I miss her so much. Goodluck in your trialsssss 😄😄😄
Hope u can do well. The smile on your face is priceless.
Goodnight. Ciao
Recently more and more stress. 43 days more to exam. I'm actually quite confident although I haven't finish studying. Don't know why lol.
Quote of the day : When there's a will, there's a way. :)
As usual, I miss her so much. Goodluck in your trialsssss 😄😄😄
Hope u can do well. The smile on your face is priceless.
Goodnight. Ciao
Monday 2 April 2012
;)
Woke up at 11am. Headache to the max. Still went to class. Ended at 4. Forced myself to study at the library until 6. Came back after dinner and slept from 7-9. Had the worst nightmare so far for 2012.
Sometimes I like you sometimes I hate you but there isn't a day that I don't miss you. :(
Sometimes I like you sometimes I hate you but there isn't a day that I don't miss you. :(
Sunday 1 April 2012
Worst day so far for 2012
The amount of heartache u get when the one that used to motivate you the most say something to hurt you. Whatever, I respect you.
Now I understand
Going out for dinner once a month is considered as 'enjoying everyday'
Seriously very stress. But why are you still giving me so much pressure ?
At that moment I really feel like giving up life and just commit suicide. Been suffering so much of emotional trauma recently. The worst part is not knowing who to tell.
The only way is to prove it to you. 从哪里跌倒，从哪里爬起. I just wish that u could stop interfering / demotivate me.
Now I understand
Going out for dinner once a month is considered as 'enjoying everyday'
Seriously very stress. But why are you still giving me so much pressure ?
At that moment I really feel like giving up life and just commit suicide. Been suffering so much of emotional trauma recently. The worst part is not knowing who to tell.
The only way is to prove it to you. 从哪里跌倒，从哪里爬起. I just wish that u could stop interfering / demotivate me.
Saturday 31 March 2012
Saturday
Did Maths today. Realized that I still have a lot too cope on. Really very stress. Studied all the way from 2 to 7. Had dinner after that. Went chilling with friends at night.
She texted me with the cry face but when I asked her she said nothing. I'm really worry. :(
Why? I love you my dear. My love will always be there for you.
4am. Goodnight. 😔
She texted me with the cry face but when I asked her she said nothing. I'm really worry. :(
Why? I love you my dear. My love will always be there for you.
4am. Goodnight. 😔
Friday 30 March 2012
Friday night
TGIF !
Not really. Just a normal study day. Someone is having a bad day 🙏🙏 for her. It's okay. If there is a bad day there will definitely have a good good day. Look forward to everyday. 💪
46 days left until the first paper. Start to feel the pressure.
Goodnight. Hope to see her soon. 😂
Not really. Just a normal study day. Someone is having a bad day 🙏🙏 for her. It's okay. If there is a bad day there will definitely have a good good day. Look forward to everyday. 💪
46 days left until the first paper. Start to feel the pressure.
Goodnight. Hope to see her soon. 😂
Thursday 29 March 2012
Another day
Been forcing myself to write something everyday. Take it as a diary.
Well, A normal day. Went for Chem class at 12. Finished class at 2. Went to the library after that. Dragged by Peter to join him to gym at 5. Feel so relaxed after that. Did not study at night. :(
Yes. There's a problematic girl. Accusing me for being a double faced When I did nothing. This is the bad thing for being nice to everyone. No true friends here in kl other than Shern that I trust the most. #fistbump
Other than that everyone thing is fine ! :) looking forward to everyday. Healthy sign. I need the results badly.
Aihhh miss you as usual. Hope everything is fine for you as well. Goodnight. Pray hard.
Well, A normal day. Went for Chem class at 12. Finished class at 2. Went to the library after that. Dragged by Peter to join him to gym at 5. Feel so relaxed after that. Did not study at night. :(
Yes. There's a problematic girl. Accusing me for being a double faced When I did nothing. This is the bad thing for being nice to everyone. No true friends here in kl other than Shern that I trust the most. #fistbump
Other than that everyone thing is fine ! :) looking forward to everyday. Healthy sign. I need the results badly.
Aihhh miss you as usual. Hope everything is fine for you as well. Goodnight. Pray hard.
Wednesday 28 March 2012
Not a nice day
I hate listening to people comparing whose better in studies. Come on. The purpose of studying is not about winning.
Not really a productive day. Went to Bangsar village at night. Tsk tsk tsk
Wanted to watch the vow with her. But she watched already. Aihhh too bad. But it's okay 😄 .
Miss you so much.
Not really a productive day. Went to Bangsar village at night. Tsk tsk tsk
Wanted to watch the vow with her. But she watched already. Aihhh too bad. But it's okay 😄 .
Miss you so much.
Tuesday 27 March 2012
Diary ? 😄
Woke up at 12 and slept again and end up having lunch at 3 with roommate and friends. Omg im such a lazy boy.
Started studying at 4 at the hall. Just when I am about to start focusing, a gang of dancing club people came in for their dance training. #distracted
After that went chilling with JJ , Peter and Sanji at the cafeteria. Had a pool game. Planned to sleep at 5 but someone asked me to wake her up at 6. Okay. Sleep at 6. Arghh. Procrastinating at its prime.
Slept listening to yiruma's music. So peaceful. Me likes. Had dinner with JJ at mc Donald's. Met Yean Yean together with her friends there too 😄
Should have continued my studies, but then another distraction ! Those Malay people training silat at the same place. Screw it ! Go back to my room and online. Whole day wasted !
Hope tomorrow will be better. And wish her Goodluck for her Econs trials.
END.
Started studying at 4 at the hall. Just when I am about to start focusing, a gang of dancing club people came in for their dance training. #distracted
After that went chilling with JJ , Peter and Sanji at the cafeteria. Had a pool game. Planned to sleep at 5 but someone asked me to wake her up at 6. Okay. Sleep at 6. Arghh. Procrastinating at its prime.
Slept listening to yiruma's music. So peaceful. Me likes. Had dinner with JJ at mc Donald's. Met Yean Yean together with her friends there too 😄
Should have continued my studies, but then another distraction ! Those Malay people training silat at the same place. Screw it ! Go back to my room and online. Whole day wasted !
Hope tomorrow will be better. And wish her Goodluck for her Econs trials.
END.
Monday 26 March 2012
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice , falling in love with you was out of my control.
As the saying goes, nothing is impossible. For me it's not exactly true. But if I dare to love you , means its possible. I told myself I will never ever fall in love with anyone anymore for at least few years. But somehow fate brought you here and made me fall for you.
Friends here often ask me. How can I don't give a shit about what people say about me and not afraid of saying anything. That's me. I live my life not to please anyone of you. I came to this world to create my own story. I only fight for things that are worth fighting for.
About my clubbing life , had been a month since I last went. Shocked ? Thinking back to last year I clubbed almost every week. Got to know many new friends. Especially girls. I love partying. I asked my self over and over again why so many pretty girls but I'm not even interested in one. Am I a fucking gay ? Ahhh definitely not. 😄
For me, I don't need a perfect girl. I just need a normal girl that can I have fun together with, have a nice conversation. Can be couple yet best friends. You might not be perfect for anyone. But for me you're absolutely the perfect one for me. Recently u keep saying that our personality doesn't match. That night I didn't sleep. I was sitting on my bed and thinking about this over and over again. I know it's not a good thing. That's why I am ready to make a change. But bear in mind. I change if I think it's not right, I don't change to please anyone. To me, you're the reason.
RT: never let go of someone you can't live a day without.
no matter how long it takes, I can wait I can do anything for you. Love might fade , but it's the heart that makes it goes on.
Friends here often ask me. How can I don't give a shit about what people say about me and not afraid of saying anything. That's me. I live my life not to please anyone of you. I came to this world to create my own story. I only fight for things that are worth fighting for.
About my clubbing life , had been a month since I last went. Shocked ? Thinking back to last year I clubbed almost every week. Got to know many new friends. Especially girls. I love partying. I asked my self over and over again why so many pretty girls but I'm not even interested in one. Am I a fucking gay ? Ahhh definitely not. 😄
For me, I don't need a perfect girl. I just need a normal girl that can I have fun together with, have a nice conversation. Can be couple yet best friends. You might not be perfect for anyone. But for me you're absolutely the perfect one for me. Recently u keep saying that our personality doesn't match. That night I didn't sleep. I was sitting on my bed and thinking about this over and over again. I know it's not a good thing. That's why I am ready to make a change. But bear in mind. I change if I think it's not right, I don't change to please anyone. To me, you're the reason.
RT: never let go of someone you can't live a day without.
no matter how long it takes, I can wait I can do anything for you. Love might fade , but it's the heart that makes it goes on.
😄
Its 2.38 midnight. I don't wanna sleep yet. I wanna chat with her before i sleep. She's having her trials 2 days later. Hope that she can do really well ! She had been working hard for her exams. All the best. I know you can do it. Miss you a lot.
Haven't seen you for 2 weeks already . The last time I see you was when we went out to study together at Starbucks. How are you hahaha.
Haven't seen you for 2 weeks already . The last time I see you was when we went out to study together at Starbucks. How are you hahaha.
:)
Time flies. Its been a year. Read my old post , i managed to let go of you eventually. Thank God. I'm still me. Hope you are doing well in your works and studies. Thinking back that i used to talked to you every single night until i fall asleep, well not anymore.
Many things happened in this one year. My heart is stronger now. I did not change, i grew up. Found the direction of my life and i'm ready to fight for it. I don't wanna have a single regret in my life. I'll do my best.
Got bad results for my A-levels for the paper in Jan 2012. Played too much. Well there's still one more chance in Jun. Promised myself i will do my best. Target B B B.
I found a girl that i love truthfully. Finally? Not? :) I just hope things get better. Dedicating this to a girl that means a lot to me. She said i'm not mature enough. I admit. Sometimes i just want some attention from you, that leads to me doing things that make you feel i'm immature. I don't wanna explain. It will worsen things. I know i'm too sensitive for you. Its because i'm jealous. I really love you. i really do. IF I say it i mean it and i'll prove it. To me , my love for you is everything. It can overcome any obstacles. Alright, i'm changing. Learning to think for others from other people's perspective. And i hope you can think from my perspective as well. Nothing is impossible. When it comes to love, everything is possible. Like i thought i would never have loved you, but i did. Deeply. You never failed to put a smile on my face. Just a simple text from you can make my day.
Ciao.
Many things happened in this one year. My heart is stronger now. I did not change, i grew up. Found the direction of my life and i'm ready to fight for it. I don't wanna have a single regret in my life. I'll do my best.
Got bad results for my A-levels for the paper in Jan 2012. Played too much. Well there's still one more chance in Jun. Promised myself i will do my best. Target B B B.
I found a girl that i love truthfully. Finally? Not? :) I just hope things get better. Dedicating this to a girl that means a lot to me. She said i'm not mature enough. I admit. Sometimes i just want some attention from you, that leads to me doing things that make you feel i'm immature. I don't wanna explain. It will worsen things. I know i'm too sensitive for you. Its because i'm jealous. I really love you. i really do. IF I say it i mean it and i'll prove it. To me , my love for you is everything. It can overcome any obstacles. Alright, i'm changing. Learning to think for others from other people's perspective. And i hope you can think from my perspective as well. Nothing is impossible. When it comes to love, everything is possible. Like i thought i would never have loved you, but i did. Deeply. You never failed to put a smile on my face. Just a simple text from you can make my day.
Ciao.
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